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The eighties were known as the Me decade. The nineties have been called the Electronic age. So far, what would you label this decade?

i'd call it the Pointless Age....pointless people being shoved into my consciousness for pointless reasons. reality TV shows being given to stranger bitches, stranger bitches hooking up with people i like, pointless pointless pointless! people being dragged into my brain just because of their family name and the fact that they popped out of someone's vag. Heidi and Spencer, Parisite Hilton, and this new shit with Eli Roth and Peaches Geldof. who the fuck is this bitch and why is he with her? sounds like poor decision making to me.

i'm going to see Remember Me tonight after i see Boondock Saints in a theater for the first time ever! that is all. have a good day!

i think i just want to get a new life.

i don't want to be unemployed. i don't want to not be in school (even though i hate school as a whole). i want more friends, and nicer clothes, and somebody who knows how wonderful i truly am and wants to kiss me all the time. i want to not be disappointed in myself that i have not gotten as far with my musical aspirations as i would have liked at this point in my life. i'm not even supposed to be here right now. i'm supposed to be dead. i'd be dead if it wasn't for this sort of thing:

just the little things like that are what make my time on Earth worthwhile...he might be nobody to you, but he's like a big brother to me. i love him and his band that much. kings of my heart, they are. no matter what's happening, it always comes back to these men and their music. some people drink, some people snort things, i listen to Good Charlotte.
k so la_petite_singe gave me this meme to do! if you want to do it too, i'll give you 3 fandoms and you have to answer these questions about each one, but since i barely know most of you, if you want to participate then shout out some ideas in the comments!

01. The first character I fell in love with: Connor MacManus.
02. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Il Duce/Daddy MacManus.
03. The character everyone else loves that I don't: I don't have a character that everyone loves that I don't...lol
04. The character I love that everyone else hates: nobody really.
05. The character I used to love but don't any longer: nobody. lol
06. The character I would shag anytime: Connor MacManus...and Murphy in a threesome.
07. The character I want to be like: Eunice. she's so badass!
09. A pairing that I love: Connor/Murphy (in a brothers way, not a gay way) Eunice/Smecker.
10. A pairing that I hate: none really.
11. Favorite character: Smecker and Connor.
12. My five favorite characters: Connor, Murphy, Smecker, Eunice, Il Duce.
13. My five least favorite characters: any of the bad guys, obviously! lol
15. My deep, dark fandom secret: the movie had been out for about 7 or 8 years and then i'd seen it. lol

01. The first character I fell in love with: Bear Jew and Shosanna.
02. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Landa. he's the bad guy, so naturally i just disliked him, but Christoph makes you love him because he plays him so well and he's such a charming villain!
03. The character everyone else loves that I don't: Hicox. Fassy just doesn't do much for me.
04. The character I love that everyone else hates: Bridget. everybody seems to think she was weak or that Diane didn't play her well, but i think she has a lot to bring to the table, starting with her going against the people who made her who she is (her fans) and basically betraying her country to fight for what she thought was right. that takes a lot of guts.
05. The character I used to love but don't any longer: none of them. i still love all of them in their own ways.
06. The character I would shag anytime: BEAR JEW AND STIGLITZ. THEY COULD PUT IT ANYWHERE.
07. The character I want to be like: Shoshanna for her courage, Bridget for her loyalty to what is right, Aldo for being a boss. lol
09. A pairing that I love: Shoshanna/Marcel
10. A pairing that I hate: Shoshanna/Zoller,
11. Favorite character: Shoshanna, Landa, BEAR JEW, Aldo, Perrier LaPadite.
12. My five favorite characters: why do we do this question? it's redundant.
13. My five least favorite characters: Zoller, Hellstrom, Hitler, Goebbels, Landa sometimes.
14. Which character I am most like: Shoshanna and Aldo.
15. My deep, dark fandom secret: I saw the film maybe 3 times in the theaters, but I only started really having favorite characters/scenes since the DVD came out. it was such an overwhelming thing to process all that I saw on the screen when I saw it in the theater, even after the 3rd time, that I needed even more time to reflect on what makes each character great, and which scenes were my favorite.

01. The first character I fell in love with: Dean.
02. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Cas.
03. The character everyone else loves that I don't: Jo and Anna. they're just weak as female characters, Jo particularly, up until her last day, then she really came through and wasn't the little girl i always thought she was.
04. The character I love that everyone else hates: nobody really.
05. The character I used to love but don't any longer: nobody. lol
06. The character I would shag anytime: Dean, Sam, John, and Ruby 1.0 for lady love. lol
07. The character I want to be like: Dean, Ruby.
09. A pairing that I love: Dean/Cas, Sam/Werewolf lady, Sam/girl from
10. A pairing that I hate: Dean/Jo, Dean/Bela, Sam/Jessica (just don't see it!)
11. Favorite character: Dean, Ruby 1.0
12. My five favorite characters: Dean, Sam, Cas, John, Ruby.
13. My five least favorite characters: Bela, Ruby 2.0, Uriel, Zachariah, Jo
14. Which character I am most like: Dean, Ruby.
15. My deep, dark fandom secret: only been watching for less than a year! lol

I'm thinking of converting to Judaism.

i’m doing research on the religion, looking around at synagogues in my area, trying to talk to more Jewish people about it, buying and reading books on the subject, etc.

several different reasons i have for converting are:

i don’t feel like i have a strong enough religious identity.

the small bit of religious identity i have (Christianity by way of family) makes me angry because i don’t agree with all of its principles, and the stigmas that have come up in the past few years with being a Christian and the stereotypes of Christian people.

i feel like after reading what i’ve read in the past two days about Judaism that i believed in Judaism all along, or at least held Jewish beliefs but i never identified myself as a Jew, nor did anyone else tell me that my beliefs were very similar to Jewish beliefs.

the religion and its people fascinate me; i’ve always loved watching movies and hearing stories about Passover and the Ten Commandments, and seeing as from what i’ve read, they’re welcoming of converts, i don’t see any reason to not become Jewish.

i do have a lot of questions (naturally) and i’m concerned about how my family and a few friends will react to my decision, but at the same time, it’s really none of their business; i’ve always viewed religion and faith as a personal, almost private thing. my family has never been religiously active, aside from my two grandmothers; therefore, if my parents were to have a negative reaction, i wouldn’t have anything to say to them except “we’ve never been religious to begin with, so i don’t understand why you’re upset”.

it’s going to be a long process, and i’m going to need money for Intro to Judaism classes and other things like that, but i feel that i’m ready to make that journey towards becoming Jewish.

Writer's Block: Back from the dead

If you could experience being dead for one day to learn what happens in the afterlife, and were guaranteed to return to life the following day, would you do it? Why or why not?

yes i'd do it on the condition that i'd get to come back and continue to know what happens, like not get my memory erased because it'll change so much shit or whatever.

Jan. 21st, 2010

i went over to a friend's house because we watch Supernatural together, and tonight was the first episode of the 2nd half of the season, so i was really excited, but tonight sucked because she has issues with food, and all she did was eat. it's painful to watch and it sucked the life out of me. it's like watching a heroin addict shoot up, i just can't be around when shit like that goes down. it makes me angry at her and it makes me sad for her, and her mother doesn't help the situation either.

she eats when she's not hungry, like while she's watching TV or watching a movie, and i've just gotten to the end of my rope with the whole thing. she uses food as a reward, and not as a fuel for your body, which is what it's supposed to be. she'll say "i've been good all week, so tonight i'm eating anything i want" which is NOT HEALTHY. she's been going to the gym and she lost 30lbs, and she was so proud of herself, then she gained it all back over the holidays.

i don't know what to do. she's very supportive of me, and a good friend in general, but she has these habits that infuriate me to the point that i just want to grab her and shake her violently!

she's also very clingy and emotionally needy, and i'm totally not that way at all, and she gets on my nerves with her behavior. she thinks she's being cute but it's really just annoying. i feel like i can't ask for "some space" because she'll give me this face like i just shot her dog or something, and i can't take it! she's just so childish and she has such an abnormal unhealthy relationship with her mother, i can't stand it anymore.  she's like Norman Bates or something. she really liked the haircut that she got a few months ago, but her mom didn't, and so she really wanted to get it again, but she didn't all because of what her mom would say.....SHE'S 22 YEARS OLD! it's ridiculous!

sorry if i bored anyone, i just had to get that out.

end rant.

Eli Roth being Quentin Tarantino FYT:
anybody on my flist know how to change the header to my page? i have a header of Marilyn Monroe that i want to put up, but i can't figure out how to do it. do i have to upload it to photobucket or tinypic and put the HTML code in? where do i put it?

somebody know how to do this?

Jan. 15th, 2010

Reply to this meme by yelling 'WORDS!', and I will give you five words that remind me of you.

Then post them in your journal and explain what they mean to you.

l27_homiet gave me Songwriting, R-Pattz, LA, Benji, and paparazzi.

Songwriting-okay so i've been writing songs since i was probably 8 years old, the first one i ever wrote was about....a rainbow. yes, i know, a fucking rainbow? i was 8, gimme a break! i've wanted it to be my profession ever since then. i can write a song about almost anything. i worked at a movie theater and when i worked in concession, i had to put the pretzel bites on cookie sheets and heat them up, so while i poured the pretzel bites, i would sing to myself, and i wrote a song about the pretzel bites.....i'm a weirdo, but i'm okay with it.

RPattz-all right, so you've probably heard of this guy. well fuck Edward Cullen. this guy can do SO MUCH MORE than sparkle for 13 year old girls. he's truly a great actor in his other films (How To Be, Little Ashes,The Bad Mother's Handbook, The Haunted Airman, and Harry Potter: Goblet of Fire), and i'm so excited for his upcoming projects (Remember Me, Bel Ami, Unbound Captives, and of course Eclipse) because they will give him so much more respect in Hollywood.  i was so moved by his performance as Salvador Dali in Little Ashes that i dedicated a song to him during my first paid gig this past year, and i cried because i can't speak about people who are important to me without doing so.

LA- the city of my dreams, i've wanted to go there since i was about 15, and i finally got to go there the summer after i graduated from high school. it was magical. i visited so many of the places i'd always heard about. we went to Fred Segal and i'm not kidding, i saw Cameron Diaz! (and we talked her out of buying a truly heinous angora sweater...whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed). okay so i didn't talk to her, but i saw her. she wasn't with anybody, she was just by herself and i admired that. i also visited Marilyn Monroe's crypt where she's buried and i got so worked up that i forgot to put my red lipstick on to kiss it, but i kissed it anyway. my eyes are so red and puffy in the pictures, but i don't really care. all that mattered to me was that i went and paid my respects, shed some tears, and said hello to my favorite lady.

Benji- oh God, where do i start? i've been a fan of Good Charlotte since i was about 13 years old, and Benji Madden became the coolest guy in the world to me through his interviews and their music. he's one of the funniest, most intelligent, sexiest and all around greatest guys you could ever meet. the entire band cares so much about their fans that they've written several songs including Hold On, Broken Hearts Parade, and March On that are directed at us as fans to let us know that they've got our backs and they understand us because they've gone through everything that we have. Benji made a speech before they played Hold On at one of their first concerts that i went to, and because i'd struggled with the issues that the song brings to light, i cried so hard because this was my favorite guy basically telling me that he was glad that i was still there that night, along with everyone else in the room, and i needed to hear that so badly. anyone else in the band could have made that speech and it wouldn't have had the same affect on me, but because Benji did it, i was completely moved, and it gave me new inspiration to not let other people affect my self esteem. i respect him very much, i'm very proud of him and the rest of the band, and i admire him greatly.

paparazzi- i fucking hate them. there is absolutely NO REASON for their existence. they say such nasty and indecent things when they're videotaping the celebrities that they stalk, and half of them are illegally in the country! all they do is take pictures which they'll sell to a tabloid who will post the picture along with a falsely scandalous story to make money, and it's disgusting. i think their behavior needs to be made illegal. they nearly killed Nicole Richie, thank God her kids weren't in the car or i'd have raised hell. the majority of them are ex convicts with poor driving skills that nearly get people killed, and we don't need that in the world. our culture is too invasive and demanding of people who are in movies and on the radio, and i think if there wasn't such a need by our culture to know who is dating who, and who cheated on who, and who was seen snorting what at a club, then we wouldn't have a need for paparazzi. they're like vultures.


Sex it up MEME

1. Bold the names of guys you'd definitely sex it up with.
2. Italicize the names of guys you might do after a little persuasion.
3. Leave the guys who don't do anything for you alone.
4. Put a question mark after the guys you've never heard of.
5. Strike the guys you wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole.
6. Add three more guys to the list. 

01. Russell Howard ?
02. Criss Angel
03. Robert Pattinson
04. Jeffrey Dean Morgan
05. Hugh Jackman
06. Brad Pitt
07. Jared Padalecki
08. Taylor Lautner
09. Jackson Rathbone
10. Robert Downey Jr.
11. Jared Leto
12. Adam Gontier ?
13. Christian Kane 
14. Michael Welch
15. Jensen Ackles
16. Michael Shanks ?
17. Misha Collins
18. Ryan Reynolds
19. Andrew Lee Potts ?
20. Lee Pace
21. David Tennant
22. John Krasinski
23. Rupert Grint
24. Justin Chambers
25. Ed Helms
26. Patrick Dempsey
27. Johnny Depp
28. Bradley Whitford ? 
29. Paul Rudd
30. Cory Monteith
31. Dominic Monaghan
32. Zachary Quinto
33. Jon Hamm 
34. Josh Holloway
35. Joseph Gordon-Levitt
36. Taye Diggs
37. Allan Hyde ?
38. Hadley Klein ?
39. Alexander Skarsgard
40. Sam Worthington
41. David Boreanaz
42. Sam Trammell ? 
43. Ryan Kwanten
44. Neil Patrick Harris
45. Adam Lambert
46. Michael C. Hall
47. Matthew Morrison
48. Chace Crawford
49. Robert Carlyle ?
50. Milo Ventimiglia
51. Chris Pine
52. Tom Cruise
53. Joshua Jackson
54. Ewan McGregor 
55. Robbie Williams
56. Oguri Shun ?
57. Orlando Bloom
58. Zachary Levi
59: Raza Jaffrey ?
60. James Murray ?
61. Jonas Armstrong ?
62. Logan Lerman ?
63. Karl Urban ? 
64. Arthur Sturridge lol
65. Henry Cavill
66. James McAvoy
67. Matthew Perry
68. Lucas Till ?
69. Ben Whishaw
70. Tom Sturridge 
71. Michael Cera
72. Matthew Gray Gubler 
73. Ian Somerhalder
74. Paul Walker
75. David Beckham
76. Jason Segel
77. Matt Smith ? 
78. Jude Law
79. Michael Vartan

80. Eli Roth
81. Sean Patrick Flanery 
82. James Dean



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